Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV)
As my husband and I prepare our home, and I prepare myself, to welcome our first little one in October this year, I often find myself with a wandering mind. I am nervous all the time it seems, not only about the actual birth itself but about being a first-time mom. I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but sometimes, it can certainly feel that way. The fear of physically giving birth is definitely a real fear, one that often creeps its way into my thoughts. However, the main things that I get anxious about are the things that follow the birth… being responsible for a new life and directing them in the ways of the Lord.
The questions that often run through my mind are:
Will I be able to teach my child everything that I, as a Christian mother, am expected to?
Will I be graceful, patient, and uneasily angered?
Will I know how to discipline in a Godly or Christian way?
Will I be a good partner to my husband while we learn to parent together?
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NIV)
I find myself questioning if I will be a good enough example/leader to my children. I hope and pray that my children will see that my husband and I listen to Christian music, study the Bible regularly, pray to God, and live the Christian lifestyle as best we can. I pray that our littles will follow our examples with willing hearts. Raising a child in the way of the Lord is so important to me. Giving them that foundation and having them know the importance of a personal relationship with God is one of my main goals as a parent. I will do my best and pray every single day that my best is enough.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)
Ever since I was a young child myself, I have been known to be stubborn, impatient, and somewhat selfish. Wanting to do what I want, when I want kind of selfish. I pray every single day these personality traits will dissolve once I have a little one to take care of. Sometimes, I hear other mom’s out there say things like everything changes when you hold your baby for the first time. I hope this is the case. I want, more than almost anything, to be a kind, gentle, forgiving, patient and slow to anger mother. I want to be the nurturer, the one they come to with everything. The one they can count on all the time.
No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11 NIV)
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves his children is careful to discipline them. (Proverbs 13:24 NIV)
When it comes to discipline, I find that there is a fine line. As I was growing up, I saw some kids who seemed to have all the freedom in the world, their parents didn’t seem to even care where they were. I also saw some kids who had extremely overprotective parents. Where the kid would do everything they could to hide who they really were from their parents. I don’t want to fall into either of these categories. Every day I pray that my children will know that they can come to me with anything. I know there will come a time when my little ones aren’t going to be so little anymore and they will want to find their own way in the world, but I am going to strive for this kind of relationship with my kids every single day, no matter how old they get.
And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”
(1 Peter 4:8 NKJV)
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NKJV)
Often in my hometown church, whenever our Pastor gave a sermon on marriage and the special bond that lies between a husband and a wife, I remember he would always emphasize the order that our relationships should be prioritized. First, our personal relationship with God. Then, our relationship with each other (husband and wife). Finally, our relationship as parents with our children. As husband and wife, we are expected to show a strong, united front. If one says no, they both say no type thing. I want this kind of marriage. I want my marriage to be one that my children look at and say, “I want a marriage like that someday.” I want to be the best partner to my husband that I can be, and that means not competing with one another, but being on the same team. United.
To have a strong marriage and then be strong parents. This will take work. Spending quality time together, talking with each other, praying for each other, having fun together, having alone time, etc. Also, spending time as a family I believe will be very important. With no TV, no iPads, no “extras”. Just family time, like the old days when everyone played board games and belly laughed all evening. This is something that I hope will be a regular thing for our growing family. Obviously, I don’t expect to know everything, nor do I expect everything to go exactly as I’d like. However, I do plan to pray for my family every day and pray that God will lead us and guide us in His way.
Do you ever ask yourself questions similar to these? If so, I hope this post will bring you some peace. Know that you are not alone. Know that God hears all of your worries and concerns and that He will be right there with you through everything that comes your way. I pray for all of my readers often and hope that you all are happy, healthy, and full of joy.
Lots of Love,